FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions:

What do we call you?

Please call me Fiona. Your child will also call me Fiona. We are working together so we are on first name terms.

What do we call sessions?

With primary and early years children I refer to it as ‘the playroom’.

For older children, we can come up with a term they are comfortable with.

If you are reminding your child in the morning that they have a therapeutic session it would be helpful to say, ‘you are going to see Fiona in the playroom today.’

What rules do you have? I’m worried my child won’t behave.

When we step into the room I will welcome the child and say the rules.

The rules are very simple:         

• Don’t hurt yourself.
• Don’t hurt me.
• Don’t deliberately damage anything.
• Don’t bring anything into the playroom, or take anything out of it (coats, glasses and water bottles are allowed).

I have a lot of experience of working with dysregulated and challenging children and am not worried that your child might misbehave. The behaviours that they may need to explore in the playroom in order to process their difficulties may be exactly those behaviours not usually permitted at home or school.

If your child is withdrawn, they will usually find their voice and their confidence in the playroom and will often begin to explore making lots of noise!

If a child breaks one of the rules I will calmly remind them of the rules. If they continue to break the rules I will stop the session so that they can become regulated again, to keep us both safe.

What happens in Play Therapy sessions?

Your child will be welcomed in and I will say the rules. The toolkit will be ready for them to explore and they will usually have free-will to do whichever they choose. They can use as much or as little as they like from what is available to them.

Children can choose from a range of toys and art materials including:

• Art: drawing, painting, colouring
• Clay
• Craft
• Creative visualisation
• Drums and music
• Games
• Masks
• Movement and dance
• Puppets
• Role play
• Sand tray with miniature ‘symbols’
• Therapeutic Stories

Anything which your child makes during sessions and wishes to keep will be placed in a box and kept safe in my office. During the final session they will be able to review their box and decide what they wish to keep in their box and then take their box home.

Often it looks, to the untrained eye, as if the child is simply playing and having fun. Often, within the first couple of sessions they are starting to explore their difficulties and playing them out. This is when their play may change. Sometimes they become louder and more frenetic, sometimes quieter and more thoughtful. Play at this time can be quite exhausting for your child and can cause your child’s behaviour to change at home. It often will get worse before it gets better.

I will be alongside your child throughout the session, supporting them. I will join in with their play activities if required and reflect things that they say and do to give them a different perspective and greater understanding. This reflection is done with great sensitivity and to aid the child’s process. In some sessions I will tell your child a therapeutic story or read a creative visualisation to aid their process.

If needed we will end the session with a grounding activity so that the child is ready to get on with their day. As we say goodbye, I will thank the child for coming to work with me and remind them of the next time they will come to see me.

When/how often will my child see the therapist?

Your child will see the therapist at the same time, on the same day and in the same place each week. Of course, there are usually breaks for holidays during the course of sessions. The predictability of the sessions and the familiarity of the room helps the child to focus on the progress they will achieve, rather than be distracted by unfamiliarity.

How many sessions will my child have with the therapist?

The minimum recommended sessions for individual children is 16 sessions, most children will require more. We want any positive changes to be long-term, therefore we require the changes to be embedded and this takes time and practice.

How can I help my son/daughter?                    

Please remind them on the day of their therapeutic session that they will be seeing me in the playroom.

Bear in mind that your child’s behaviour may get worse before it gets better, please try to tolerate this.

Don’t ask your child questions about his/her session. You could just say, ‘I was thinking about you when you went to see Fiona in the playroom today.’ Then if they want to share they will, but if they don’t please allow them to have the privacy they want.

Don’t tell them to have fun! They might have fun but they will also work hard and may be dealing with some hard stuff, it might not always feel like fun.

Don’t tell them to behave in their session with me! Let me worry about their behaviour in sessions.

Give them some of your time, without a mobile (or homework) between you. Play with them, chat to them, bake with them, go for a walk or dance to a favourite tune. Be prepared for your child to laugh at you and tell you, ‘you’re so embarrassing’, that’s what they say when they don’t know how to react. Whatever time you can spare to connect with your child and have some fun time together will make a difference to their wellbeing and yours. Try it!

Will you tell me what my child says/does?

No, I’m sorry I won’t. The child has my confidence during sessions and can communicate big feelings, nightmares, fears and bad memories as expressively as they need to. They can be completely open knowing that I won’t ‘tell’ on them. This is really important to their process. Just think, if you went to a counsellor and the counsellor told someone what you had said you wouldn’t trust them for long, it’s the same for children.

At the end of the therapeutic sessions, and in reviews if they are held, I will tell you, in general terms, how your child is doing and may tell you about themes in their play, but I will not be specific.

The only time I will break a child’s confidence, and I always tell children about this rule, is if something they tell me indicates that they are in danger or that they are being harmed. Then I will contact the appropriate agencies to protect the child.

When will my child bring home the things they make?

Anything your child makes during sessions which they wish to keep will be stored in a personal box and kept securely in a locked cupboard in my office. At the end of the therapeutic sessions they will have the opportunity to look through and decide if they wish to dispose of anything prior to bringing home their box.

Please respect their privacy, they may be happy to show you, but they might want to keep their creations private. If they created something while they were processing a scary memory or an angry feeling they might not want you to put it on the fridge!

What do I do if I’m worried about my child after a therapeutic session?

Please contact me about any worries and concerns you have about your child. Often, when a child is dealing with something which troubles them their behaviour may become more challenging until they have worked through it and developed more positive behaviours. But, if in doubt, please contact me.

What else do I need to know?

I have completed three years of high-quality post-graduate (Masters level) training from The Academy Of Play and Child Psychotherapy, underwritten by Leeds Beckett University and I have achieved both the Post Graduate Certificate in Therapeutic Play and the Post Graduate Diploma in Play Therapy, both with Distinction.

I am on the register of Play and Creative Arts Therapists at Play Therapy UK which is accredited by the Professional Standards Agency. My registration number is 201802678. You can search for me, Fiona McIlhagga, here https://playtherapyregister.org.uk/search-listings/

I have a current, clear, enhanced DBS (police check) and relevant insurance. I have regular clinical supervision to ensure my therapeutic practice is consistently of a high standard and safe.

I have ICO registration (data protection) number: ZA479068 If you would like to see my Data Protection Policy please ask.

If you would like to see my Safeguarding Policy, Confidentiality Policy, Record Keeping Policy or my Risk Assessment please ask.

I have more questions

Please get in touch. I will phone and/or email you back. I look forward to speaking with you.